19 Funniest Christmas Jokes - Silly But Funny Hilarious Xmas Jokes To Crack On Christmas Day
Posted: Sunday, December 13, 2009
by Kacycarr
http://www.spotthepimple.com
Funniest Christmas Jokes - Why do you think people during the festive period leading up to Christmas day say to others on passing in the street "Happy Christmas?" Surely it doesn't have to be spelt out, okay for the min-ute few that it does; it's simply a way of telling others you hope they will have a jolly and happy time just like they are having. Let us not forget the reason why we do this. December 25th: Christmas day is when we celebrate the birth of Christ. So for this reason alone we rejoice.
When people are happy they smile and laugh, and why do they smile and laugh, simply because their happy. All joking aside it's generally because people are tickled pink over something funny that's been said like funniest Christmas jokes. This is an indicator for you to act on, it tells you that if you say something funny this Christmas you're sure to get a laugh which will make them happy, and that's without being tickled.Christmas entertainment doesn't come any better if you have a joker in the midst, and every family has one of those. It may even be yourself, if so allot this person or you that all important time to get the Christmas party going, and when it does then the fun will begin. There is nothing to beat the sound of laughter to tell you that everyone is enjoying themselves.
When Christmas dinner is over and you're all gathered round the fire cracking nuts and eating fruit let the joker take centre stage and start cracking Christmas Jokes. You can make this time even funnier by dressing up. Someone in a funny costume will always get a laugh before they have chance to open their mouth to tell a funny joke.
Make your Christmas Day the Funniest ever with Festive Humour
- What's red and white and black all over? Santa Claus after he slid down the chimney.
- Santa Claus has a fear of getting stuck in the chimney. It's called Claus-trophobia.
- Santa goes up and down so many chimneys that he's thinking of getting a yearly flue shot?
1 - Just before Christmas, two brothers were spending the night at their Grandmother's house. At bed time, they knelt down to say their prayers. As they closed their eyes, one boy said in a loud voice, "Dear Lord, please ask Santa Claus to bring me a Wii, a telescope and a new bike." His older brother said, "Why are you shouting? God isn't deaf." "I know," said his brother, "but Grandma is."
2 - It wasn't long off Christmas and Billy and Ben decided to build an ice skating rink in the middle of their pasture. A shepherd happened to be leading his flock nearby and decided to take a shortcut across the frozen field. But the sheep were scared of the ice and wouldn't go onto it. The shepherd became frustrated and began pulling them along to the other side. "Look at that," said Billy. "That guy's trying to pull the wool over our ice!"
3 - A couple of days before Christmas, a business man was anxious to get home from a business trip. The trip had been exhausting and he was not in a good mood. The airport loudspeakers blared Christmas carols he was sick of hearing. He thought their decorations were tacky. The worst decoration, he thought, was the plastic mistletoe hung over the luggage scale. Being in a bad mood, he said to the woman at the counter, "You know, even if I weren't married, I wouldn't kiss you." That's not what it's there for," said the attendant. "It's so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."
4 - The judge asked the defendant stood before him what he was charged with. "Doing my Christmas shopping early," was the reply. "That not illegal!. How early were you shopping?" Before the store was open he replied.
Will your audience this Christmas be little kids then we can't have them missing out of the festive fun - Christmas gags for kiddies.
- What did the snowman order at McDonalds? Ice-burgers with Chilli sauce
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite
- What do you call a snowman on rollerblades? A snowmobile
- How can a snowman lose weight? He hangs around till summer
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes
- How does Jack Frost travel to work? By Icicle
- What does Jack Frost get for Christmas day? A Freezer
- What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? Santapplause
- Who looks after Father Christmas when he's ill? The national Elf service
- What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck? Christmas Crackers
15 - A little boy asked Santa what he did in the off-season. Santa replied," Well, I do have three gardens." The little boy asked Santa why he had three. Santa chuckled and said," So I can ho, ho, ho!"16 - There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening. He says to his wife, "Look honey. It's raining." She, being the obstinate type, responded, "I don't think so, dear. I think it's snowing." But Rudolph knew better. So he says to his wife, "Let's step outside and we'll find out." Lo and behold, they step outside and discover it was in fact rain. And Rudolph turns to his wife and replies," I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
Stick with the joker in your pack and you're sure of a jolly good time.
Getting into the Christmas spirit takes no more than being around people all ready in it.
Be prepared to make them laugh this Christmas and get your Funniest Jokes now
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Hi Kacy.These are great! Even the jokes for the wee ones. Thanks for making me laugh.Merry Christmas,DianneHI Dianne glad I made someone laugh this Christmas. Have a Merry Xmas from Kacy and keep well
I will use some of these jokes to tell at my Toastmaster clubs. Thanks for the jokes. LorraineHave fun and good Christmas Lorraine
Keep well
Kacy
Santa went out to eat before heading out on Christmas Eve. He ordered eggs benedict and when the waiter brought his food it was on a car hubcap. Santa asked why his food was being served on a hubcap and the waiter said, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise".
Darth Vader told Luke Skywalker he knew what Luke was getting for Christmas. He told him, "I felt your presents".
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