Funniest St Patrick’s Day Irish Jokes & Gags - Funny Comical Irish Humour At Its Best
Posted: Sunday, February 28, 2010
by Kacycarr
http://www.spotthepimple.com
St Patrick's Day (March 17th)
Paddy's day, as we Irish refer to it, is not only a date on the calendar celebrated by those born and bred in Ireland, in fact St Patrick's Day is celebrated the world over by them Paddy's who upped roots and left Erin's Isle to make a new life elsewhere. You don't have to talk with an Irish accent or be able to move your feet like Michael Flatley to join in the fun; all you need to do is want to be part of what's going on.
Saint Patrick is supposedly to have been born in the fourth century. Saint Patrick is a national apostle of Ireland. He was recognised for bringing Christianity to Ireland. The reason the Irish celebrate St Patrick's Day on March 17th is because it's believed it's the day he died.
Let's look at some St Patrick's Day party ideas for your Hooley
To make sure your party's a success and that all those who come wearing green to the gathering have a jolly good time and go home with a full belly, will include good food, lively music and great entertainment. St Patrick's Day food can consist of good old paddy food like spuds boiled bacon and cabbage (only joking.) Nonetheless if you think your friends would like this then serve it. Plan the menu to suit your budget. A cold buffet is ideal; it's also less time consuming to clear away the mess, giving you more time for dancing and telling Irish jokes.
Are you worried over what St Patrick's Day entertainment you should put on? It doesn't get better than telling Paddy and Mick jokes to keep your guests amused. Stop worrying, if you serve enough of the black stuff (Guinness) then all you gotta to do then is make them laugh, by telling funny Irish jokes. Should your party guests guzzle enough Guinness then it's likely they'll giggle anyhow, whether a joke's been cracked or not. Don't ask a drunk why they laugh at nothing because they don't know themselves. It's just one of those unexplained happenings that happen to drunks, like when their feet give way from underneath them after a certain amount of alcohol is consumed.
Study say's a pint of Guinness daily has its benefits. It works just as well aspirin to help prevent heart clots that raise the risk of heart attacks. Of course this doesn't go for Irelands very own Poteen. Poteen was produced in Ireland according to myth, from when the first potato was harvested. The term 'Irish moonshine whiskey' started around 1660.
Funniest St Patrick's Day Irish Jokes
Funny Irish Joke 1
Paddy & Mick, were adrift in a lifeboat following their ship sinking. While rummaging through the boats provisions, Paddy found an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp. To his amazement, a genie did appear. This genie stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the usual three. Without giving much thought, Paddy blurted out, "Make the ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie granted the wish, and immediately the sea turned into Guinness. Mick looked disgustedly at Paddy. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Paddy! Now we're going to have to wee in the boat.
Funny Irish Joke 2
Molly Carr goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says to her, "What's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband died last night." The priest says, "Oh, Molly, that's terrible! But he was always cheating on you, wasn't he?" "Yes, that he was." she replied. "So, at least that's over, now isn't it?" said the priest, trying to find at least a little good in Molly's time of woe. "Tell me," he went on, "did he have any last requests?" "That he did, Father..." "What did he ask, Molly?" "He said, 'Please, Molly, put down that gun!'"
Funny Irish Joke 3
Paddy and Mick were working on a building site, Paddy says to Mick "I can't be bothered working all day I just want to go home" so he climbs to the top of the building site and hangs upside down on a steel girder so then the boss comes out and shouts "what the hell do you think you're doing" Paddy says "pretending to be a light bulb" so the boss says "go home your being stupid". Mick decides to follow and says "I'm going home too" but just as he was putting his coat on the boss shouts "and where do you think you're going" Mick says home because I'm not working in the dark"
Funny Irish Joke 4
A policeman pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy Clancy, of no fixed address." He then turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."
Short Irish Jokes
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!
Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?
A: Patty O'furniture!
Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms
Funny Irish Joke 5
Pat & Mick were walking down a country lane when they came across an abandoned car. Both men being curious jumped in and began checking to see all was in working order. Pat beeped the horn, "yes that works OK" he says. Then he flicks on his indicator and calls to "Mick, stick your head out of the window and see if it's working"...to which he replied "it is...it isn't...it is...it isn't..."
Funny Irish Joke 6
Paddy and his wife are in bed and can't get to sleep because of the neighbour's dog barking its head off in the garden. Somewhat disturbed by the noise, Paddy explodes, 'Botheration and that!' and storms off downstairs. He comes back five minutes later and his wife asks, 'What did you do, Paddy?' Paddy replies with a smirk, 'I've put the dog in our garden so I did, now let's see how they like it.'
Funny Irish Joke 7
Mick was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery.
After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, 'Not guilty.'
'That's grand,' shouted Mick, 'Does that mean I get to keep the money?'
It's easy to make and Irishman laugh telling jokes, but just as easy to make him cry also. Be it on your own back to tell Paddy there's no Guinness. For your St Patrick's Day party to be a success make sure Paddy has a pint of Guinness in his hand while you tell him the one about the?
More St Patrick's Day Jokes to get you in the spirit of the Paddy's Day celebrations.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Cute jokes. Fun read.Again thank you for dropping in to commentKacy
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