St Patrick’s Day Funniest Jokes FREE Hilarious March 17th Funny Irish Gags Guaranteed To Get Laughs
Posted: Sunday, February 20, 2011
by Kacycarr
http://www.spotthepimple.com
St Patrick’s Day Funniest Jokes -Being a Paddy myself and knowing how to hooley makes organizing an event, or preparing a party for St Patrick’s Day a whole lot easier because you know what the people of Ireland want, and what it will take to ensure they have a great time. Remember though, just because you don’t sing with a lilt in your voice, dance like Michael Flatley, or can’t make soda bread, or even brew poteen, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun too. Us Irish like to share our passions with anyone whatever their accent. It’s the way of the Irish to put a lot of love into this day, (March 17th) so everyone, local, or from afar can feel the love and spread it.
Should the opportunity rise for you to visit Ireland to hooley, snap it up. Celebrating St Patrick’s Day on Irish soil doesn’t get any better, and it’s then you’ll see why the Irish go to so much fuss to make this day special for family, friends and visitors.On Paddy’s Day, (St Patrick’s Day) aside from the people of Ireland drinking Guinness in the gallons and wearing Shamrock, and likely dancing an Irish Hornpipe or Reel till dawn - the Irish love to laugh. The funny thing about the Irish is, is, any laughter amid St Patrick’s Day celebrations usually comes from Paddy and Mick themselves, who, more times than not are always on the brunt end of a funny Irish Joke. But there you go that’s the Irish for you forever seeing the funny side of things regardless of them made out to be “THICK”.
I defend the “belittled” here and say that Paddy is truly a clever bloke I’ll have you know. If hadn’t been for the man with the Irish Brogue, and hands the size of shovels, then many a road we would not have to travel along.
To prepare a party for St Patrick’s Day in the home will depend on personal choice and you’re pocket. (What you can afford) A crate of Guinness, boiled spuds, bacon and cabbage, and the room decorated GREEN is a Paddy Day thing if that helps.
On St Patrick’s Day the air should be filled with laughter, and how do we make sure this happens, that’s right, we tell Irish jokes.
Below are some of the funniest Irish Jokes and gags to get everyone laughing and in the spirit of things.1. That's my lot, said Mick to Paddy leaving the dentist's. I've just had all my teeth pulled out - never again!
2. Where were you going when I saw you coming back?
3. I ran after you, but when I caught up to you you'd gone.
4. I don't mind dying, said Paddy McGarr. 'It's just that you feel so stiff the next day’!
5. How far is it to the next village?' asked the Yankee tourist. It's about seven miles,' guessed the farmer. 'But it's only five if you run!
6. The man in the next bed to Seamus had a kidney removed. The next day, for lunch, they were served kidney soup. My God, said he, 'they waste nothing here!
7. I'd like some nails, Paddy asked the DIY man. How long would you like them asked the man behind the counter? Forever, if that's all right with you, said Paddy!
8. Paddy and Mick were jetting over the Desert when Paddy said: Mick take a look at all that sand, I wonder what they're going to build when the cement gets delivered!
9. Mick asked Paddy how he got his black eye.
You'd never believe it, said Paddy, but I got it in church.
He said he had been sitting behind a fat lady and when they stood for a hymn, he noticed her dress was creased into the cheeks of her bottom.
All I did was lean forward and pull it out and she turned around and punched me. A week later Mick was surprised to see Paddy had another black eye.
I got this one in church, too, he said.
He said he found himself behind the same fat woman and when they stood for a hymn her dress was once again creased into the cheeks of her bottom.
My little nephew reached forward and pulled it out. But I knew she didn't like that, so I leaned over and tucked it back.
10. McGinty joined a group of robbers and on the night of his first safe-cracking job the leader warned him, before we go through the window, you pull your tights right over your face. McGinty said. .Sure, but can’t you see that the daft things will only stretch as high as me neck!
11. Could you tell me the way to Tubbercurry, please, asked the English tourist? Certainly Sir, said Mick. If you take the first road to the left…no still that wouldn't do…drive on for about four miles then turn left at the crossroads…no that wouldn't do either…" Mick scratched his head thoughtfully. You know, if I was going to Tubbercurry I wouldn't start from here at all.
12. Paddy was in New York. He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this over and over, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, Is it not about time you let the Catholics across?
13. Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock.
We have 99" replied the shop owner. Give us the lot said the Irish man, paid for them all and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, and put a budgie in each pocket, then went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. I don't know for sure he replied, but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping!
14. Paddy was picked up on a rape charge. He was placed in a lineup with ten other guys and the accusing woman was escorted into the room. Paddy jumped forward, and screamed "That's her! That's her! Oi'd recognize her anywhere!"
15. An Irishman fell a hundred feet from a building site and was asked if he was hurt by the fall. "Indeed not," he replied, It wasn't the fall that hurt me at all it was the sudden stop.
FREE jokes and gags for special occasions like St Patrick’s Day
This Article has been viewed 758 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.